Sunday, July 22, 2012

All Boobs Are Not Created Equal

As you can probably tell from my tattoo post, both from the nude and the side view, I'm pretty stacked. No one in my family can figure out why, since big boobs don't run in my family. And I'm an inconveniently odd size, too: 34DD. Now don't get me wrong, I spent my adolescence hating my big chest, but I love it now.

Eyes up here

But in all seriousness, can we talk about how ridiculous bra shopping is for me? Go to the bra section at Wal Mart and find a 34DD. Go ahead, I'll wait. What, you didn't find any? You might  find on in the Just My Size rack, but after a look at their website, I don't think their DD go as low as 34. No, if you go to a big box store, more than likely the smallest DD bra you will find is a 38, way too big of a band size for me. Most DD bras are made with the understanding that the women that will wear them are going to be approaching morbid obesity. And if you're bigger than a DD with such a small band size? Then you're fucked. A former friend of mine was a 34G (yes, implants) and we managed to find a store in Portland, 2 hours away, that carried larger sizes.

No, I have to special order my bras from Victoria's Secret (they don't carry my size in the stores usually) or Frederick's of Hollywood. Now the Victoria's bras are more comfortable but way more expensive. They also have some annoying structural integrity issues with the straps in the "seamless" models. While the Frederick's bras are cheaper and last longer, they're not as comfortable and don't have the push-up padding. I also tend to fall out of them a lot, which is really annoying, especially in public.

But in all seriousness, the bigger your tits are, the more expensive the bras are if you want any quality. And when you're a weird size like me and have to seek out specialized sources, you're shelling out a lot of money; even Victoria's Secret's semi-annual sale ends up being an expensive venture (plus, I am addicted to the panties from their Pink! line, since they're super comfortable). It's really unfair. I'm down to two bras, both from Frederick's, and have no money to order new ones, with no option to traipse into Wal Mart and buy one because I'm a weird size, dammit.

So this is my entreaty to the bra makers of the world: not every DD, DDD, E and above is morbidly obese. Some of us are just small around. Some got implants. Please don't discriminate against our boobs. We want cute, affordable bras, too.


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