Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Table for One

Recently I was lamenting on Facebook about wanting to go out to dinner but not having anyone to go with. Sure, I can go by myself, I'm a big girl, but who wants to dine alone? I certainly don't enjoy it, fiddling with my phone while I avoid eye contact with the other patrons. I went to Applebee's once, during the holiday season because I wanted a cosmopolitan and a steak. I also needed a gift card. I walked in and waited forever for the hostess. When she did approach, she said "can I help you?" Not, "just one?" or "are there more in your party?" but "can I help you?" That's... not an appropriate question for a seating hostess to ask. That's a retail clerk question. So I slowly raised my eyebrows and said "table for one?" to which I was shown to a booth near the bar and had a very sweet waitress who fussed over the appearance of my drink and made sure I was taken care of.

The movies are another example of places I don't want to go alone. I haven't seen the latest installment in the Batman franchise because my "group" decided to have a guys night, thus excluding me, and I won't go alone. I've gone to the movies alone once, an afternoon matinee to see Coraline, and I had the entire theatre to myself.

I can text during the movie!

So it occurred to me tonight, as I drove around the local towns with my music and my peanut butter milk shake, lamenting the fact that I'll miss out on the fairs this year because I don't have anyone to go with: humans are herd animals. Descriptions of people as "sheeple" is kind of apt. Women can't even go to the bathroom without 5 of their closest friends, which is especially true at weddings (seriously, why are wedding dresses so heavy? Don't they realize brides need to pee and that the maid of honor really doesn't need to witness it?). We take our buddies places for moral support. Teachers force group activities on students (even the loaners that hate it because the aggressive students take credit for the work). We are one big lowing herd of human cattle.

This realization still doesn't ease my mind of the fact that I don't get to go to the fair.

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