Fakey McFakerson

I don't know why I fall into the snares of disingenuous people and become their friends, but I do, and when I end the friendship and burn the bridge after, it's not pretty. One of those former friends is one of John's roommates. I've written about her before. For the sake of anonymity, we'll call her Munchhausen.

Several years ago, Munchhausen and her family used to live with another friend in his large house, since they can't own their own home due to being financially irresponsible. Another person, we'll call him Mama's Boy, is best friends with the home owner (since their days at boarding school) and lives in the adjacent apartment. Everyone lived in harmony until the homeowner's wife and stepdaughter (who are both massive cunts) made life difficult. Munchhausen and her family moved into an apartment down the road, and the next summer I met them.

As I was introduced, I was told all about their life there and how terrible a person Mama's Boy is. How he cheats at games and lies and cries. His racism, lack of grasp on reality because he can just run  to Massachusetts and come back with a check from his mother if he can't pay his bills. How, overall, he is a shitass. I met him. I didn't think he was all that bad, and in some ways, I could see why he acted the way he did. I didn't get the big deal. That September, we all went, as a big group, down to Cape Cod to Mama's Boy's mother's house and had a lovely weekend with him and his mother.

Now fast-forward to the present. I am no longer friends with Munchhausen and there is absolutely no way in hell I will rebuild that bridge. I listen to her and her husband call Mama's Boy all kinds of horrible names whenever his name comes up, and constantly talk shit about him. Last night, I overheard them arguing about it. See, John and Munchhausen's husband just don't enjoy Mama's Boy's company. They're gamers and yes, Mama's Boy does cheat. They'd just rather sever ties. Munchhausen doesn't want them to. Wanna know why? She doesn't want to give up the Cape.

That two-faced sack of shit will use someone for their mother's Cape house.

This morning, John and I were enjoying cuddle time in bed when he froze, arms actually locking where he held me. We heard a voice downstairs. It was Mama's Boy. And what was Munchhausen doing but laughing and being jovial with him. John didn't want to go downstairs. I told him Munchhausen was the most disingenuous person I'd ever met. He already knows I have no respect for her. Needless to say, it was an unpleasant morning.

Some people, man.