Monday, January 14, 2013
Making Necessary Changes
Today came the fruition of a very difficult decision that I made over the weekend: after one week at my new job, I quit. I realized that, after having the biggest panic attack in over a year and weighing my finances that the company would not be a good fit for me both mental health-wise and financially. I put a lot of thought into it and started putting out applications and my resume right away, but having just gotten back from making my resignation in person (I feel it's always best for an amicable split) I feel as if a weight has lifted. My stomach is no longer in knots, the migraine is gone, and I no longer feel like I want to cry at the drop of a hat. I know this can be damning for me, because it potentially leaves me without an income, but I can be squirrely. I've already called the department of labor and found out what needs to happen going forward to collect unemployment still and there will be their standard fact-finding interview. In the mean time, I have one paycheck coming from my (now former) employer and partial unemployment for this week. If I have to, I'll dip into my retirement again. I could not have done this without the support of my family and of John, who let me freak out at him on the phone for a half hour when the initial panic attack struck. My Mom, who I have sometimes felt scared to go to with situations like this was so supportive and understanding, and this morning I woke up to an email from her with a job listing for what is essentially my dream job. I just need to reach out to colleagues and my alma mater to get the ball rolling. Uncertainty is scary, but I will persevere.