Ghosted

 Exactly a month ago today is the last time I heard from someone I considered a romantic partner. Someone I was making plans for the future with. Someone I thought might finally be The One. We had a very brief discussion about European metal festivals being scheduled for next year and then... nothing. My messages weren't even opened. My texts have gone unanswered, and while he hasn't unfriended me on any platform, he's been hiding his presence on online spaces we used to spend time with. I'm hurt, but mostly because he's ending a 5 year friendship, and I have no closure as to why. That's what hurts the most. I'm a big girl, I can understand and know when I'm not wanted, and move on from that, but friendships are so valuable and hard to make when you get older that I feel... lost. I see something cool and I can't send it to him. An announcement for a long-anticipated game, movie, or concert? Nope. Because I've been completely ghosted and cut off, and I don't know why. We're 40 years old, we're too old for that shit. I've cycled through a range of emotions, I want to rage, I've cried a little, but mostly, it's hurt. And loneliness. I just want a conversation between adults, I can handle it.

I don't want anyone to vilify him or call him names or give me any of the meaningless, unhelpful platitudes people give at the end of a relationship. I'm focusing on me. I've rebounded with the same person I rebound with every time a relationship dissolves. I'll be fine. I'll double down on saving for a house. It'll be me, and my cats, and it'll be fine.

But my advice, if you're with someone long term, whether friendship or romantic, don't just ghost them unless it's an incredibly toxic, harmful relationship. Be adult enough to have a conversation with them about why things are hanging. Give them some closure.