Tuesday, April 16, 2013


As a reasonably intelligent person, I enjoy thoughtful discourse and talking to/surrounding myself with other intelligent people. It's no surprise (for people that know me) that I miss college and have been thinking about grad school. John is currently in the process of applying to an accelerated program to earn his LCSW to become a clinician, and I am incredibly proud of him. My problem is, I still, at age 33, don't know what I want to be when I grow up. In an idealist, fantasy life where I've won the lottery and practicality doesn't matter, I'd bury myself in early English and Anglo-Saxon literature and just be a professional student. In a more practical sense, I've considered studying sexual health, gender studies, and public health (but really, in a nutshell, public health). I'd also considered writing again, and focusing on editing, but really, how practical is that? Considering my current job, I'd even toyed with business management or some sort of MBA.

Maybe I'm afraid of the commitment. Student loans are a huge burden and how will I know for sure that what I choose is what I want to stick with? It's almost like a relationship: you fall in love with the idea of love, but when it happens, it's not what you imagined at all. There's a bit of vulnerability and self-doubt involved, like in a relationship.

And, perhaps, I'm just a coward.

In the mean time, I'll read great books and talk to wonderfully smart and insightful people and still ponder what I want to be when I grow up.

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